Friday, December 31, 2010

Ten - Eleven

Yayyy it's already at the end of 2010.. Another year has passed... real quick...with more mistakes and downfall but also comes with the packages of happiness and rewards in life.. I Thank God for his guidance through out the year. For giving me experiences that makes me a better woman.

The OLD is where the black and white memories live..
Struck me with tears and laughter.
Complete my puzzle as i walk and gain more piece..
Filled my heart with memories.

The NEW is where i start an adventure
a new gate to open..
Give me a chance to find more destiny
a new layer to peel..

Stand in between..
Makes me realize of whom i have left behind
Faces and Moments that will endure forever
Makes me awake of what future might bring
Journeys and Treasures that will awaits my presence

Happy New Year's Eve and Happy New Year my friends... What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.. God Speed .. ^^ Bless us all

Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Warmest days of the year

Christmas is where our heart set after a full long year of working. A
journey stop to enjoy a warm Christmas Day with dearest people around us.

My Christmas and new year comes with tradition of cooking and gathering around Christmas show on TV.. never changed for 26 years of my life. Family always comes first by far. Prayers and songs accompany the whole day of happiness. The blessings filled the air on every places I've seen.

Thank God that this Christmas i still have my family around.. ^^ Be Merry !!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Black And White

If there is Night and Day, Sadness and Happiness,  Sun and Moon, Good and Evil, 
there's also Black and White.

Today i inspired with two basic colors i love the most, which is "Black and White". The colors is so inspiring and such a strong color statement indeed. I'm in love with every Back and White theme, color, and picture.. yet my addiction still doesn't effect my closet or even my Blog theme hahaha..

According to Wikipedia, White is a color, the perception which is evoked by light that stimulates all three types of color sensitive cone cells in the human eye in nearly equal amounts and with high brightness compared to the surroundings. While Black is the color of objects that do not emit or reflect light in any part of the visible spectrum; they absorb all such frequencies of light. Although black is sometimes described as an "achromatic", or hue less, color, in practice it can be considered a color.

This white and black has the biggest visual contrast, this can easily be associated to other opposite concepts. In Chinese philosophy, this two contrary color create a great symbol of Yin and Yang. Taoism taught the concept of Black and White in Yin and Yang symbol to describe how polar or seemingly contrary forces are interconnected and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other in turn. Yin yang are complementary opposites that interact within a greater whole, as part of a dynamic system. Everything has both yin and yang aspects, but either of these aspects may manifest more strongly in particular objects, and may ebb or flow over time.

As for myself, black and white give a great balance makes a great silhouette of sexiness and edginess in life. What amazing color isn't it !!

"There's something strange and powerful about black-and-white imagery ~ Stefan Kanfer"

Monday, October 25, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love

We as human being having basic needs for Food, Clothes, and House. But i guess in life we end up only need to Eat, Pray, and Love. A certain way of living your life to the fullest.

Yesterday i watched this movie. It was played on my nearest movie theater, my boyfriend  and i decided to go and see the movie. I've seen the book review before, so i kinda interested to see the story in movie scene. The big idea is about a life that seems to be ordinary and simple sometime is not enough and you've got to do some "Attraversiamo" (let's cross over).

Live without eat is impossible.. but to eat without desire and hunger is bare. Sometimes we do things out of habits.. Everything has to be done by working from 8 to 5, eat, hang out on the weekend, church on Sunday..etc. All based on a habitual day to day activities. By the time we realize it, we already become a person with no desire and what so ever about life it self..because it so plain and boring. A get away ..a great new neighborhood.. good friends and companion ..marvelous wine..with authentic food will give a super boost to break away from the boredom bubble. And for Elizabeth in the movie, She get away to Italy ~ savoring Italy's buffet of delights.

Having the time of your life ..have fun and to eat from heart not out of diet program give us big enchantment (and of course big belly too..haha), but it's not enough.. the concept of having Bigger Power in universe (by all mean is God) finally comes along to make peace with our self.  This Greatest Power will end up finding us some enlightenment ..a way.. a vision and guidance in life. A part of having balance in life it self. As for my self, i found my self in Jesus Christ's hand. For Elizabeth, she choose to meditate in India.

Will that be all? Friends, Family, Guidance .. filled your life and at some point you think is enough.. But what about life time companion? Dare decision to love someone?

Life takes guts.. Love takes a leaps of faith. I was one wrote the fact of being single at 40 is fine.. but is it going to enough? I say now, it's fine..nothing's wrong about being single, but sometime, it's just not enough. And i love the fact that every woman doesn't need a Man, Woman need Champion. Someone to win her heart and dare to face the crazy life together. In my opinion, love choose us, it's not us who choose who we want to love, because sometimes, it's just happen. You might end up loving the wrong guy before you finally meet the right one, but that's journey. Finding the perfect soul mate takes Attraversiamo. Journey to cross over. The question is, Do i found the right one already? Let time answer it for me ^_-. As for Elizabeth, She find her champion in Bali, Indonesia.

LIfe is a quest my friend.. Don't give up in the middle.. Somehow, what you're looking for is actually very near....only a step away.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Just having the time of my life within the last 2 days. Two special days I've been waiting had passed and i missed it already. Those days were the days i spent with the loved one.

Funny thing is, we got 3 times IDR 29700 bill repeatedly. I don't know why the numbers keep popping, but 3 times within 2 days mean something for me.. People say 3 times is a charm.. So i keep my finger cross that it has a good meaning to our relationship.

It's a superstitious things but sometimes God is a good adviser. He can use anything to sending us the signal. As far as i believe, He also never make things happen coincidentally. Everything happens for a good reason. Even the bible recorded Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

According to my stupid and random interpretation .. if i try to calculate the numbers 2+9+7+0+0= 9. Nine is the highest single-digit number in the decimal system. According to Wikipedia, if you multiply nine by ANY natural number, and repeatedly add the digits of the answer until it is just one digit, you will end up with nine. What a number!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

At 26 Step of My Life..

I should have post this a month a go.. I haven't done it because I've been busy spending time with my precious Birthday Gift. Curious huh?? hahaha.. I'll tell the story in a bit..

Ok.. My birthday happen 34 days ago.. The day that made me happy today.. not just because i gain more age.. more good friends..or more wisdom ..but i found something impossible has become something possible and real. And that was my sweetest birthday gift ever.

I met someone in late May to early June 2010.. Just a typical guy like my any other guy friends.. I didn't feel him at first.. but the conversation never stop.. We talk almost the moment i suddenly miss him when he weren't around.. World Cup 2010 event has become our closure moment.. We've been discussing so many things since then. The funny thing is .. we never really thought we would like each other.. We also never think that we might have a chance to be together.. So many fight and tears just to get to this day. So .. to us.. the word 'WE' in 45 days ago is impossible.

But i guess life as we know it, is always has a twist on its own. I learn a lot not to quit easily in life..and on my 26 step of my life i have been shown twice that "impossible" is unrealistic. The word "impossible" only exist for people who easily giving up. My first lesson was at my 21st of my life.. My bachelor degree thesis seems impossible to be done only for 3 months with the fact that my 2nd supervisor lecturer is seriously ill and had to make bed rest for 2 month..yet i finally found out Jesus make it possible.

Today.. a month after my 26th birthday, I'm still facing another "impossible" situation.. but this precious gift and wisdom give booster strength to continue on my foot step. matter what happen in life.. when you feel like the road block is too much.. don't quit..!! Just Go.. keep moving.. don't give up !! ^^

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

P.S : I Love You

Dear Loved One,

"There is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved."
- George Sand -

Love is the sweetest thing to say...yet the saddest feeling to say goodbye to someone you love the most..

Love is never selfish.. Love is when he/she is mean to you and you still want him/her. It's when he/she ignores you and you still love him/her..

It's when he/she loves another guy/girl but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really want to do is cry.

It's never easy to watch someone you love to slip away from your hand.. but sometimes, life ask you to do so.

It's about giving your best with no regret.. The sweetest taste in life and the most bitter feeling at the end of line.

But no matter how hard it is to love, hearts will keep falling for special someone..

P.S : when you feel i don't love you.. Believe me.. i love you with all my heart..


Quote from P.S. I Love You Movie:

"Dear Holly,

I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me.

It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes.

Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends.

P.S. I will always love you."

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Good Morning Hunnie ^^

It ain't just a saying's the way i smile every day i wake up in the morning.

We wake up every day with different feelings... And there were times we get mellow and sick that we seems never want to face the world in the morning.. But having a special someone..a family...a life.. change every thing. A smile always find it's way to rise with the Sun every morning.

So..i think i'm going to prepare special cup of coffee special just for you with special ingredient:
1. freshly ground love beans
2. a spoonful of desire
3. 7 ounces of sincerity
4. 1/2 cup of milky friendship
5. stir together with tenderness

Oww ...and don't worry i also make you sunny side up smile egg with sweet kiss pancake as morning breakfast.

"I went to sleep last night with a smile because I knew I'd be dreaming of you ... but I woke up this morning with a smile because you weren't a dream"~ Anonymous Quote

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Love is..

Love is something you think about the first time you wake up in the morning

Love is...every goodnight kiss

Love is to walk hand in hand.. riding a bike together with laughter..

Love is ..a house filled with joyfullest

Love is to talk with them for hours and never get bored..

Love is a special gourmet you cook for special person

Love is to shed tears off their cheek

Love is to hold 'em tight to say everything is going to be okay

Love is sleepless night when you can't see them

Love is a smile when you imagine someone

Love is to miss somebody constantly..

Love is to remember everything they love..

Love.. is an everlasting gifts ..

Love creates an "us" without destroying a "me"

LOVE is .. something you experience..has no definition..

LOVE is a 'verb' .. You'll have to work on LOVE everyday in your life...

Galatians 5:22-23

 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Human Capacity..

Have you ever wonder :
1. Why you born alone..?
2. Why you are the only child in the family?
Have ever questioning yourself
1. Are you happy being single?
2. Are you going to be happier as a couple?
Have you ever think about
1. When this problem ever be solved?
2. When the happiness start accompany your foot step?

None of us wonder..questioning..or think the same thing.. because... We don't have the same problem..We don't live the same life..We don't walk at the same path..

We have our own capacity.. None of us having the same equal capacity to carry the face the struggle.. Many times i felt so alone..but i manage to smile at the end of the day. Quite often to feel like there's too many problem, all at the same time..yet...i still keep some bag of laugh in my closet.

A coworker asked me yesterday about how i feel being the only child in the family.. She needed an answer to decide whether she's going to get pregnant of her second child or not.. I answered her at a very simple sentence.."Ask God.. Is your first daughter going to be strong enough to face everything on her self when she grow up?" will be best if God decide it for her instead trying to find answer from me..or anybody else.

As for me..i realize something.. I realize i must have been given big capacity that Jesus let me be alone until today. So many thing i have to face.. but He make everything's okay up to this day. So what are we talking about now? What is Human Capacity?

Human capacity in my opinion is integration of individual's skills, human intellectual, judgment, and technical aptitude to accommodate life. We are a cup..a glass ..a jar..a container of Life. Our capacity is given but also developing through time.. and of course depends on your willingness to be a better person day by day. Let your self questioning everything in life.. Have your self big curiosity.. Run your self with a courage to learn everything in life... But make sure you have settled a strong foundation first!! It's important to learn and knowing everything..but without 'strong foundation'..without guideline.. you will only run in circle..wandering around without a clue is useless.

So if you feel so low this days.. remember that you have special capacity. The problem and everything that  has been given to you already measure at the right proportion. Don't give up..!! Praise Jesus..praise your self. With Him..we can fight the world !!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Knocking on Heavens Door

A couple of days a go.. i got involved in a chat about death. It's a very hard subject. I myself ..haven't prepared enough courage to face fatality. We all are immortal on earth.. The D-day eventually will come for us whether we are ready or not. Even though the idea of having final rest from of all our problem and sorrow is delighting..but 'death' is something more than meets the eyes.

As a human being, i shall never know anything about life after death..but somehow i have my own understanding that there will be Judgment Day. Before The Judgment Day.. The death spirit and us.. will wait at the 'pit' stop. And then..There will be time come for all of us to face The Book of Life at The Final Gate.

The Judgment day is is the final and eternal judgment by God of all nations.It will take place after the resurrection of the dead and the Second Coming of Christ as it was written at Revelation 20:12–15.
12And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
 13And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
 14And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
 15And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

Revelation is definitely one final book of New Testament that remind us to consistent evaluating our daily basis life performance. This will continually become my concern of how i choose and decide everything in life. Because the final....the ending... has to be the the great finale.As it only happen one time. There will be no regrets afterward.

So.. before i face my God Almighty ..there are preparation to make.. The true Question is..What will you do? You know believe this will surely happen.. if you know when is your final day..what are you going to do about it? If there are only seven (7) thing to do before you pass away..what will it be?

I choose the number of seven here because the repeated occurrence of the number seven contributes to the overall unity of Revelation. While several numbers stand out—3, 4, 7, 10, 12, 24, 144, 1000—seven appears to have a special significance. There are seven churches symbolized by seven lamp stands (1:20); the churches have seven angels symbolized by seven stars (1:20); there are seven spirits before the throne of God, symbolized by seven lamps (4:5), and also by seven horns and seven eyes (5:6); the judgment scroll has seven seals (5:1) with a corresponding set of seven "seal judgments"; the seventh seal unleashes seven "trumpet judgments," which are heralded by seven angels (8:1-2); the seventh trumpet unleashes seven "bowl judgments," where the bowls of God's wrath are poured out by seven angels (15:1); there are seven mysterious thunders about which John is not permitted to say anything (10:3); 7,000 people are killed in an earthquake (11:13); the dragon has seven heads and seven diadems on his heads (12:3); and the beast from the sea has seven heads (13:1). `

As for my self..this is my 7 to-do list :
1. Understand what He wants.. a continual conversation with Him every single hour and minute..(haven't pray often enough)
2. Read His manual book a.k.a bible (try my best at reading proverbs by far.. )
3. Applied His words and have faith of a seed that can move the mountain (faith is to believe in miracle at the lowest point of your life..and it's not easy at all.. and His words.. can be done if i have a crystal heart ..which i haven't come close to this point too)
4. Preparing the best gifts for my Mom and Dad.. provide them the standard happiness i know they would love to have (don't have sufficient material yet..)
5. List people whom i love in life..and do something for them as much as i could (try my best dear..) so i know if tomorrow never comes...i already show them how much i love them
6. Come close to the unknown friends..that haven't been touch by God..that haven't feel ever be loved before.. give them my share of time and love and courage to see the world to a new perspective to make sure they pass along the good deeds.
7. Taking my final time .. go to a place where i can just sit down..overview all my life and all i have left for the people..give my final thought a peaceful rest to make sure I'm ready coming back to the place where I'm going..

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Life of Guitar Lessons..

The guitar consists of a body with a rigid neck to which the strings, generally six in number but sometimes more, are attached. this simple instrument has been one of the required music ensemble in life.. Big band to simple jam session use guitar to describe indescribable feeling.

I love the guitar since i don't know when.. I used to love piano still is but guitar has always produce the mesmerizing tunes in my heart. Doesn't take a lot ....just a simple chord from a simple song can be so heavy and meaningful. I once learn how to play takes a lot of finger skill to play it..wasn't as easy as it looks at all. The string might end up hurting your finger too. But it feels great once you know how to play a song. My Dad is actually quite good at playing guitar. He taught me a few simple chord.

Ok...I'm not going to teach any chord lesson here..because I'm not an expert at all at playing guitar. I just want to share my stupid thought on Life through Guitar.. through one ensemble that i love the most. Every single thing in Guitar was made with precision and art skill. One good guitar ..starting form..the curve..the hollow part and the neck string.. is produced with every guitar produce it's own vibrate. Just like us..a unique human being that carefully made by our mighty God..vibrate to one another in our own way..

A person can attach to one single guitar because it has been a life companion. When the blue days and the hardships follow your foot step..a guitar can complete you in a way. Every now and then artist..start their moment from an acoustic guitar. One of the cheap instrument that usually came from generation to generation. A legacy from fatherhood.

Guitars are recognized as a primary instrument in genres such as blues, bluegrass, country, flamenco, jazz, jota, mariachi, reggae, rock, soul, and many forms of pop. So this one simple thing..that you can carry around everywhere .... really can put a smile...or break down some tears.. or go nuts with .. The melody..the tunes..complete every remembrance in our heart.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Broken String Lullaby

"Absence from whom we love is worse than death, and frustrates hope severer than despair."  ~William Cowper

It's not about how much you want a person..
but it's how much you miss the person that count..
It's not about how many times i said i love you..
but how much i miss you now..

I miss you in my heart..
In a place where all the love lies..
I miss you in silence
In a state where golden lies..

My senses..
My wishes..
My Thoughts...
Will remain keep the truths..
of how much i miss

It's not about how much i want you..
but it's how much i miss you..
It's not about how many times i said i love you..
but how bad i want to say " i  miss you " now..

What is the opposite of two?  A lonely me, a lonely you.  ~Richard Wilbur

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Hillsong Concert

On Saturday August 14, 2010 i made a rush decision to take my part in a Charity Concert. Hillsong Charity Concert for House of Hope .. A house dedicated for orphanage children.

I don't know why ..but it's like a calling to came in to the concert.. a friend of mine Lenny Gunawan message me at FB around 4 PM and i still haven't decide to go ..5 PM i suddenly took a step to made a quick bath..and rushed to the Concert Spot.. it suppose to started  at 6 PM but i decided to bought the ticket like in 6.30 PM...

I guess i really can't fought the calling... Haha.. so i went in and enjoy the first part of the concert.. A charity part where we get to know House of Hope.. The dance and choir performance from this orphanage touches our heart... House of hope it self was funded only by pension fund of a teacher. She put her heart and soul to take care of this children..fed them..funded their school and give them love..a piece of heaven on earth for this kids.

The second part of the Concert is of course Hillsong showed up...with a rocking guitar performance..
I couldn't help my self to move forward and enjoy the rest of the performance.. I never really listen to their song.. i was only knew one or two song but.. they make me 'jump' that night.. 'Jump' in a good way of course .. There was 2 song i really like through out the performance "From The Inside Out" and "Mighty to Save".. But other numbers like.."one Way", "Take it All", "King of Majesty", and "Hosanna" was also awesome !!

After the first round performance, there was Pastor Lee preached about following The God Game Plan..Not long after that..came an altar calling to recommit our love to Jesus.. and yeap i did move forward to recommit myself.. Cos' somehow i know that i really know my Jesus from my past experience and He's the only thing that is real when others left and consume me with all of their inner thought.

The Concert went great.. not because it's real Hillsong or not.. but because of the atmosphere.. The Ballroom was full and 85% of it is under the age of 25.. It was awesome how God move this young people... The Closing Performance was unbelievable too.. None of us wants to leave the ballroom because we really enjoy every single part of the concert.. Jesus name has been glorified above all.. !!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Suit and Myself

I am Iron Man. The suit and I are one. -Tony Stark

Trying to push my self to write again.. It's 3:18 in the i try to keep up with the time here..

I Love the quote... Because like it or not..we live everyday wearing 'something'... There's always something to be 'cover' on our daily basis. If You say it's a mask.. you cover your true face from the world...If you say it's a cover your body from the world.. A good gown will definitely cover and correct our true body form to make it more presentable to the world.. A good shoes will cover our foot step..

All of that matter is because how bad we want to look good for others...for community.. for society.. for the world.. We make our own style because we thought that this will be our trademark.. Because the style can hide our deepest sorrow that we don't want to share with others.

Somehow the suit determine our self more than our personality..
If we can look each others eyes everyday.. we won't bothering our self try to cover anything... Because then the eyes will tell me the truth...the sadness and the joy..the real you deep inside..

What do 'They" say about this??

1. “They're targeting guys who dress like me -- guys who dress hip-hop. Put a murderer in a suit, and he's still a murderer. It sends a bad message to kids.” - Allen Iverson

2. “Nowadays everyone's got the nose rings and the colored hair, so for me to wear the suit and tie is a different way to go.”-Sam Raimi

3. “It embarrasses me to think of all those years I was buying silk suits and alligator shoes that were hurting my feet; cars that I just parked, and the dust would just build up on them.” - Washington Irving

4. “My father used to say, 'Let them see you and not the suit. That should be secondary.” - Cary Grant

5. “I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.” - Warren Buffet..

And so for now...Me and My Suit are one because i want it to.. Because there's something i want to keep and lock away in my heart. One day.. i hope i found someone who will see me beyond the look and the suit.

Well ... it's 4:09 AM.. and i just wish to find the suit that suit me best today.. a piece of textile to cover the engraver of my heart...

Happy Thursday fellas...

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Life is a Boxing Arena

It's raining outside.. the clock is ticking at 10.25 PM..

I Just finished watching "My Sister's Keeper", an outstanding movie about a family .. A wonderful family of five. There were Dad, Mom, Jesse, Kate, and Anna.They look happy and fun to the outside world..but there's always "something"... Kate is the middle child with leukemic disease. As the family grows.. each one has a very special unique role to each other...but they held up together through the "storm"..

I cry when i watched the movie.. i got touch with the characters.. I see how strive a mom can be for her child's life... or how hard it is to let go..that you won't listen anything... It was a heart breaking moment ..

Speaking of heart breaking moment... I've been there few times..Haha.. yeap it's not nice.. You could feel the unseen knife cut through your heart and soul.. but in the end i know i will let things go.. I'm still shining..and smiling.. and running.. The hit is less painful than what i have to deal in my family's affair..

The other day..somebody gave me a clip of an old school movie "Rocky Balboa".. there's one quote he want to show me: "But it ain't about how hard you hit... Its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward ...How much you can take and keep moving forward...That's how winning is done."

The quote is quite inspirational but i already get used to get and take the hit... and thanks God i never get knocked down.. Well, at least i never went blank out.. Then I'm starting to questioning.. "if life is a boxing arena.. how many rounds should i survive??" hmm.. who can give me the answer? However, life is incredibly awesome if i think it through.. There's always some sacrifices need to be made to make sure the other grow and have their chances..

The deal is that.. i know it's never easy.. never..!! Anyone will agree no matter how strong they really are.. Sh*ts do happen in every single living person on earth today. We all having this "situation" that suffocate us. Hidden and locked away in our "closet".. So i suggest us to safe enough energy to face every single hit in life could possibly offer. Get trained from simple hit like breaking up and love .. we'll be doing just fine in the end... Just fine..:)

Friday, July 9, 2010

Deal with yourself and Kick it UP !!

Time to write another composition in my life..

A theme has been chosen... a soundtrack and a singer has been decided...  James Morrison playing well enough in my ear at this very minutes... Love the way he deliver every song he sang.. Ok let's start..

"Life without "f" (friends, family) is a Lie.. Life without "if" means nothing... but i hate "if" in the middle of life.. since i hate to dream just to wake up feeling empty!!"

That will be the statement I've been thinking lately and i put it on my FB .. just to remind me not to wish for something that can only be a dream for me.. Hahaha.. on the contrary.. i hate to admit that i do dream a better looking life all my life. The simplest dream is currently the hardest to achieve... And that simple dream has been drawn well enough by Disney Pixar masterpiece from UP the movie

i honestly want lots of things in life but the life i live filled with lots of  "if" words... and the only "if" I've been holding on lately is something i try to "kill" and forget.. Maybe it's because of the quarter life crisis ... but yeahhh life can be strange and melancholic sometimes..So here's 7 tips for our melancholic mood:

1. Sleep on it.. You might feeling better tomorrow
2. Listen a good "soul" song
3. Contact all of your friend and make a date with them hahaha
4. Write it down to loosen up the heart beat
5. Sing at the top of your lung... (Hahahaha it works for me just fine)
6. Laugh about it and take it easy on yourself
7. Pray ...just pray... God is the final answer.. :)

Well ...since i believe 7 is the perfect number... let's just finish it up and sleep on it.. There's still sun shining for us everyday..that means new hope.. new start is still available in store ;)

....... and moving on my life with James Morrison's ensemble ...... We're not lost.. just undiscovered....

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Marrying Career ..

I thought about this, couple of weeks ago.. I even made a statement on FB that gloomy  afternoon: "the best boyfriend so far is work".

Girls quite agree with the statement haha .. I myself  honestly facing  women that haven't got married at my workplace.. They doesn't seem to bother about it and the way i see it they enjoy their life as much as anybody else.. They make their own agenda with each other.. Traveling to places and they definitely can pay their own bills..their own car..and of course their own style.

From other blog I've read recently, there is the right term for this condition. It's incel (Involuntary celibacy (or incel) is the state of a person who has not established an intimate relationship or engaged in sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy or sexual abstinence. The term is used especially for people who, despite general expectations, have had little to no sexual or romantic experience. Incel generally affects males more than females)

Women probably having their own struggle about this, but i believe women are a strong creature. They will grew stronger anyhow.. 

And so there were this one particular woman that stand out among those amazing  unmarried woman at my workplace. A strong woman figure indeed. She decided to move on her career at Jakarta recently. She drive her own car to travel 674 km long journey this morning. I knew her as a "Loud" figure that sound her voice because she believe in her opinion. She never retreated. Keep moving with her enthusiasm and ideology. Hahaha.. it's hard to face this kind of woman.. but i admire her in my own way. I learn about determination through her eyes...

She probably decide marrying her own career as she hit 40 this year. She doesn't lack of anything at all. She feels and looks complete all the way. I don't know how she did it but as i said goodbye to her yesterday.. She advice me to always ask God : "What He wants me to do? What way should i take?" and always believe that everything we do ..we do it for God. We are just servants of God.. we shall obey His words.

I almost cry yesterday hahaha but i kept it in my heart and i promise my self to get stronger and stronger everyday just like her...

Good bye to you Ms. TBRD I will see you somewhere in the future. Keep fighting for what you believe... ^^

little sarcastic joke:


and as for myself: " I'd rather to be incel than to marry a guy because of his money" 

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Dear Mi Amigos

It’s my second night at my best friend’s house. A very warm house indeed.

I needed a get away lately..just a little change from routine to make my mind ease a little bit. Thanks God, he hears my plea and found me one character that understand me and very much like me in the end hahaha. She's a friend from Senior High at St. Maria, Surabaya, East Java. Never thought we came to the same University and Now we’re at the same office. She’s a very fun person. Her personality is very warm and definitely can light up the day for sure.

We were just friend, but now is more like best friend because she now knew the side that i’ve never showed to anyone else. Hahaha it wasn’t easy for me but when things aren’t so easy like this days.. i decided to open myself a bit more. Turns out .. it help a lot. At least the burden feels like has been taken an inch from my shoulder. Things that i thought i can handle my self will be easier to deal.

There are also other best friends that come and go in my life . The way i see it, they are unique in their own way.. Haha i can’t say it in details but they also come at my best and worst life experience.

There were good friends that accompany me too lately.. they help me share a ‘beer’ i called loneliness. Haha the quote i grab from “piano man” lyric (signature song from Billy Joel at 1973). A song that has been introduced lately by a new friend.

I like the way Billy Joel wrote the lyric of life and put them down together at the bar setting. I didn’t get the point actually, but my friend explain it to me wisely. Hahah.. so even if i didn’t really like the melody, i still love the essence of this song.

I’m now learning more about friendship .. learning to make friend with life it self in it’s own unique way.. This time from a different setting ..with different melody.. If it’s not working we’ll find another ..

So let’s put us a smile and grab as many friends as we can a long the way..

SPECIAL THANX TO: my Friends Warm Family

^^ JBU guys forever n ever ^^

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Me and SpongeBob.. YayYY!! we go again.. haha another sunny day in the early evening.. I should be happy because the sun is shining and knowing i have lots of good friends around me.Just like one cartoon character that i love the most "SpongeBob" !! hahahaha

Yap i'm talking about SpongeBob SquarePants the American television series that created by marine biologist and animator Stephen Hillenburg. Much of the series centers on the exploits and adventures of the title character and his various friends in the underwater city "Bikini Bottom."

It's one character that was created with no gender (Stephen Hillenburg, had previously denied that SpongeBob was gay in 2002. He clarified that he considers the character to be almost asexual)and specifically one character that will never go blue. This Yellow Sponge always look fun to watch. Hahaha so many funny things i found in that movie. Just the movie i need this days.

I've watch the series so many times.. and never got bored with it. I love the way he make friends.. no complaining..and always find a way to think positive. Even chasing jellyfish is fun or.. simply doing his regular job at Mr. Krab's place can be adventurous. SpongeBob laughs is always contagious.

This one simple character is one of my idol. Hehehe I love you SpongeBob..!!!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Today Daily Devotion

Couple of days ago i subscribe to

Tuesday, June 15th 2010

History Maker in icare

Today I will share the 10 criteria of how to be someone who have the Spirit of "iCare"

1. Someone whose opinion deserves appreciation and have wide perspective.
2. Someone who can help others from a negative attitude into a positive attitude
3. Someone who can motivate, strengthen, encourages, encouragement and inspiration to others
4. Someone who can bring others to know the people around him more successful and accomplished
5. Someone who can find ability / talents in the lives of others
6. Someone who has a positive outlook and attitude of a winner
7. Someone whose life is pure, holding fast to the integrity and honesty
8. Someone who can laugh at life and sometimes can laugh at himself lightly, and not make life very seriously
9. Someone who used to say I am a lucky man and I should be grateful
10. Someone who teaches us to understand the principles of excellence

God wants to make you and i as history makers but not everyone will be "History Maker". Where are you standing right now? 

Let's not make them as a manual guidance.. But as a good check list to our own self so maybe one day we'll be standing as History Maker.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, 
always bring your own SUNSHINE."  
Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Friday, June 11, 2010

SEXy me in The CITY

Night night ..!! I Just got back from watching another movie sequel i love since high school. It's Sex and The City 2. I really ..really to this movie because it tells a lot about being a girl.. friendship and of course about being a woman. There's always something Funny ..Sassy and Catchy about the story line..

This time, Carrie show me how she try to maintain the relationship..Not just to get the one that she love the most but also how to keep the "sparkle" in the relationship. It's not about what others might think .. it doesn't have the manual either.. You just gonna have to make the best effort that suit both of you the most.

The Sex and The City 2  take place at the marvelous Abu Dhabi city. Such an exotic place ..of course with such a deep Moslem culture. Lots of  fashion show going on that Arabic desert. Honestly, they wear Fashion that i don't even understand. hahaha.. but i guess this movie intentionally packed all the value under the Fabulous Artist, Labels, and Places. Of course with sarcastic joke in the name of Sex eventually.

Tips I noted about being in a relationship according to Sex and The City 2 especially for girls :
1. Please stop the nagging girl friend act thing.. (hahaha i guess i did that once)
2. Stop being so confusing and tell the guys what you really want. You definitely don't want them to guess your untouchable mind.

3. Just lower your expectation about how a relationship should do.
4. Take a little break is also healthy for special situation.
5. Forget what u should and u shouldn't do according to your friend and your family opinion..It's your life.. Your Relationship..!!
6. Throw away all the manual because love and romance comes naturally ^^