The Train is Here..and It Won't Stay Long

I know I have to stop looking back
I know there is nothing left for me to stay
I know I was being unwanted
I know I have only me to be happy

I do not know what's going to happen
I do know I have to move forward
I do realize the next stop will provide a better life
I do believe that my God already wait for me there

I can still feel sad these days, but..
I can not dwelling in my feeling forever
I can still missing the past, yet..
I can not stay to wait any longer

I wish to say goodbye nicely
I wish you well..
I wish you happiness..
I wish to leave you and your memories behind

It's raining inside..

I realize how lonely i am..
I envy those who already found someone

I stare at my family photograph
I feel coldness and empty feeling..

Sometimes I just want to feel the warm of love
Sometimes I thought I found love..
Sometimes I recreate what happiness is inside of me..
Sometimes it works..but I know it is not real..a temporary imagination

I asked God to take this heartache away..
I asked God to make my life shorter
I asked God ..an apology for not being the daughter He wants me to be
I asked God ..a strength if i have to stay here longer than I expected

He didn't answer..
He might answer me..in a way He knows
He could have been answer me..yet I didn't notice
He should have all the answer..isn't it?

I just feel lonely..unwanted..

Silence

I have said many times how much i need you..
I have explained everything inside my heart..
I have told you many times about what is inside my heart..
I have been honest and loyal through the hardest times of your life

Yet..
It was never enough for you to choose me
It was not good enough reason to want me
It was still just another reason to say that you are confuse
It was just me..trying ..fighting..for a spot in your heart..

I'm sad..
I cry a river..
And now I keep my mouth shut
And now I let you free (again..and again..)

I stay silence
I keep my distance
I wish you happy
I wish you are blessed
...